Falling, and the First Time
by The Raisin Girl
Summary: Kurt shows up at Dave's apartment, determined to find out once and for all what they mean to each other.


**Author's Note:** This is a part of the Number 27 'verse, set towards the end of Kurt and Dave's junior year of college. This'd be that slightly drunken first time I made a passing reference to in Number 27, so there will be some alcohol and then some sex. Well, sort of. Also, there was a planned second chapter to this but it never went anywhere good so this is it. It's been downgraded to a one-shot.

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><p><p>

Even as intoxicated as he was, Dave found Kurt within minutes, dancing feverishly in a group of giggling girls in the center of the room. He'd been on edge since Kurt had shown up on his doorstep looking suspiciously cheerful for someone who'd been yelling at him on the telephone less than twelve hours before. It wasn't the first fight they'd had, but it was by far the worst. They were usually flare-ups, stupid to begin with and over before they gained any real momentum or did any lasting damage. This had been different. This had been slow-building over months—probably since they'd left each other at the end of the summer, if Dave were honest with himself—and it had all come out in one massive, giant screaming match over the phone that ended with Kurt in tears and Dave not far from that point himself. When Dave hung up that phone he'd fully expected that to be it; he'd blown it with Kurt Hummel for real this time, for good, and he would never get him back this time, not even as a friend.

So needless to say, Kurt on his doorstep with a suitcase and a smile, asking if he could stay the weekend and then declaring his intentions to "figure out what we are," as if it were as simple as sitting down for a nice chat over coffee? That was beyond bizarre, and Dave was feeling off-balance. He kept putting Kurt off, using classes as an excuse on Thursday and Friday, and then this party on Saturday when Kurt showed every indication of being ready to chain him to a chair and make him do the thing he dreaded most: talk about his feelings. But then, damn him, Kurt showed up at the very party Dave wanted to use to escape via drinking himself into oblivion.

_How did he even know where I was going?_ He thought irritably as he pulled Kurt away from the throng and towards the drinks table, much to the girls' disappointment. He ignored their grumbling in favor of straightening Kurt's clothes and looking him over, fighting his own buzz in favor of making sure Kurt was okay. Kurt pushed his hands off and scowled up at him.

"Daaave," he whined, "I was in the middle of something." He tried to pull away and go back to the crowd, but Dave held him fast—but as gently as possible—by his arms and looked seriously at him.

"Yeah, you were in the middle of a hetero gang-bang waiting to happen. Doesn't exactly sound like your style, Hummel." Kurt grinned up at him mischievously.

"You are such a mother hen sometimes," he said almost fondly, "and how would you know anything about my style?" He shook Dave's hands off and reached for a drink, downing it in a couple of gulps as Dave looked on, worried yet fascinated. He had never seen Kurt be sloppy or out of control; even when he was angry, Kurt was always prim and practically radiating grace and poise. Not at the moment, though, clearly. He slammed the cup back onto the table almost triumphantly when he was done, then grinned up at Dave hazily. "Jealous, Davey? Want me all to yourself, is that it? Why didn't you just say so?" And then he was pressing his mouth insistently against Dave's.

It wasn't like they'd never kissed before, but this felt wrong. Even with the warmth of the room and the several drinks he'd had making everything soft-edged and somehow multiplying his ability to feel every millimeter of Kurt's lips against his, it made him slightly nauseous. This felt like taking advantage, although Dave wasn't sure who the predator would be here: him or Kurt.

"Kurt," He managed to force out around the one-sided kiss, "What the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind?" Kurt pulled back with a frustrated little sound in the back of his throat that drove Dave up the wall, though he tried his best not to show it. Kurt smiled lazily up at him.

"Nope," he said airily, "Not my mind. Just a few of my more inconvenient inhibitions." He wrapped his arms loosely around David's shoulders and giggled in his face. Dave smelled the undiluted alcohol on his breath and rolled his eyes.

"Geeze, Hummel…you can't have been here more than an hour. Should've figured you for a drunk…or a lightweight." Kurt just giggled again, and Dave resisted the urge to clamp a hand over his mouth. The sound was strangely…arousing.

"That's me! The second one. I'm afraid I haven't had much practice with the stuff," he sighed in mock sadness, but didn't seem capable of keeping a sly grin off his face for long.

"Okay," said Dave slowly, walking Kurt away from the drink table and towards a relatively quiet corner of the room, "so, what made you decide to practice tonight?" He kept his voice low, calm and reasonable, and thought he should probably be given some kind of award for this, because drunk Kurt was awfully happy and touchy and just fuckingsexy as hell, even more so than bitchy, uptight, diva Kurt, if that were even possible.

"Well, Daaaaaaavid," Kurt was saying in a cute, sing-song voice, "Since you asked so nicely…I'll tell you!" Another giggle, and Dave had to take a deep, slow breath to shut out the thoughts that infuriating sound brought to his own substance-addled mind.

"I came here to find out what we are, remember? I thought maybe if I could loosen up and…what's the word all the cool kids are using now? Chillax a little bit…" Dave cringed and had to laugh a little at Kurt's attempt at being one of the cool kids, but thankfully Kurt didn't seem to mind being laughed at, he just gave Dave another lazy smile and continued. "I thought maybe it'd help me figure out what you and I are. You certainly haven't been much help." He pouted up at Dave, eyes wide with feigned hurt. Dave felt his heart clench.

"I'm so sorry, princess," he said with mock gravity. "I fully repent my lack of helpfulness."

"That's better," said Kurt seriously, still looking up at Dave with that heartbreaking expression. "See? My plans always work. So, now that you're being cooperative," he snuggled closer to Dave, laying his head sideways on his chest and wrapping his arms a little tighter. "What are we, Dave?" His voice was a little muffled by the embrace, and it sounded so small and vulnerable all of a sudden. Dave wanted to wrap his arms around him, but he refrained. Just barely. "Are we friends? Lovers? Are you my—" he interrupted himself with another laugh, "—bully with benefits?"

Dave jerked away, prying Kurt's arms from his shoulders as he did so. He felt the hurt showing on his face and didn't even try to hide it.

"David?"

Bully. Kurt hadn't called him that in so long. In fact, they'd studiously avoided anything that resembled that word, Kurt always being quick to remind Dave that he wasn't that anymore, that they didn't relate to one another that way anymore. Or at least, Dave didn't treat Kurt that way anymore, and he'd always just assumed that Kurt had stopped thinking of him as a bully, as his bully, who had stolen his first kiss and terrified him so much he'd had to change schools. After all, how could you give your phone number to someone you still viewed as a bully? How could you willingly spend so much time talking to, writing to…kissing…someone if every time you looked at them you were reminded of being terrified and hurt and pushed around? Maybe it was stupid, but considering everything that had transpired between them in the last few years, Dave had thought Kurt was past the bullying, even if Dave himself never would be, not completely.

Apparently, that had all been an act, because as soon as Kurt's inhibitions were gone, he was through being careful with Dave. Dave was his bully again, and probably always had been.

"This whole time," Dave managed to choke out, "is that the way you still think about me, Kurt?"

Kurt looked into Dave's face and seemed to realize exactly what he'd said. He wanted to deny it, but Dave must have seen the truth in his face, because he turned and walked straight to the door, grabbing his keys off the rack as he went, leaving Kurt standing in the corner of the room feeling suddenly very cold and much less amused by his own intoxication. Pain can be very sobering.

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><p>"Dave?" Kurt's voice was quiet as he opened the door to Dave's apartment, surprised to find that he hadn't been locked out. <em>It's not like I could blame him<em>, he thought bitterly. He tiptoed, only a bit unsteadily, across the little apartment and knocked softly on Dave's bedroom door. There was no response. Being as quiet as he could, he turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, wincing when it creaked on its hinges. Peering anxiously into the dark room, he could just barely make out Dave's form on the bed, huddled on its side and facing away from him. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him, leaning over to unlace his boots and set them aside before tiptoeing across the short distance between the door and the bed and slipping in beside Dave's silent, motionless form. If he was awake, he gave no sign of it, just laid still and kept breathing softly, evenly. Kurt huddled against his back, pressing his hands to the fabric of the thin cotton t-shirt he was wearing and then sliding them apart, wrapping his arms tentatively around Dave's broad back and holding on for dear life.

"Dave," he whispered, "I'm sorry. I wish I could say I didn't mean it, didn't think of you that way anymore, but…I never want to lie to you about anything. I just wish I could explain to you that it doesn't matter." The man in his arms didn't move, nothing changed. He sighed.

"See…I forgave you a long time ago, David. Remember that day in the hallway, right before prom? I think I'd already forgiven you before that, for most of it, but when you apologized to me the way you did…I could see in your face how much you meant it, and I really felt it then. I didn't forget any of it. How could I? You terrified me, and you took my first kiss, and I could never forget either of those things, but after that day…it didn't matter. I saw how sorry you were, and I remembered being afraid of you but I didn't feel that way anymore. I remembered hating you, but I didn't hate you anymore. I remembered that first kiss, but it didn't sting anymore and I didn't feel that…that aching regret that it hadn't happened differently, or with someone else."

Kurt paused, listening for any sign that Dave was listening. Nothing. He kept talking, determined to get it all out even if Dave would never remember it. Maybe once I talk it all out to myself and make some sense of it, I can tell him when he's awake, and make him understand. He took a deep breath, and then continued.

"I forgave you, but I didn't trust you, and I didn't particularly like you. I didn't know you yet. But I wasn't lying…I could see how miserable you were, even if nobody else could. I pitied you, so I gave you my number. I guess…I was thinking maybe I could help you or be there for you in some way. Maybe it was arrogant of me, but we both know I'm not the humblest person in the world." He nuzzled his face against Dave's back, trying to press closer, soak in more of his warmth and his solid presence. He didn't know if he'd ever get a chance to do this again; when Dave finally did wake up, he might not hear him out. He might throw him out the front door and refuse to ever speak to him again. He tightened his arms around Dave's shoulders, and when he spoke again his voice was a soft murmur of pain.

"I didn't know what a friend I'd be getting. I didn't expect you to be there for me. I didn't know you'd be the only person I felt like I could call when Blaine and I broke up. I didn't realize how much I'd come to depend on you, how grateful I would be that we were friends. I didn't know how much I'd like you, just you as a person, or how much I'd miss talking to you when we didn't get the chance for awhile. I'd only ever had close friends that were a lot like me. I'd never had someone who listened like you did, even when I wasn't talking about anything you were interested in. I'd certainly never had anyone who'd cut through all my melodrama and call me on my bullshit the way you do all the time."

Kurt paused and snuggled closer into David's back, bending his whole body to the curve of Dave's, tucking his knees in against the backs of Dave's legs. It felt like he couldn't get enough contact, and it actually, physically hurt to think he might not be allowed this close again. It hurt more than Kurt thought possible, the idea of being separated from the man beside him, and it scared him, too. He breathed in the scent of David: clean, masculine, very strong and warm and very there just beneath his fingertips, and he felt strangely at home. He continued, voice no longer a whisper but a quiet murmur, like a lullaby.

"I started to trust you, David. I started to need you in my life. After last summer, I…" his voice faltered for a moment. He'd only ever said it to one other person, and that had ended, and it had hurt so much. He was so lost in his own musing that he didn't notice that Dave's breathing had kicked up a notch.

"I started to love you." His voice was back to a whisper. "I…love you. David, I'm in love with you. And it doesn't matter that you bullied me in high school. I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen, I'm not going to pretend I've forgotten all about it, because as much as I hated you at the time, I love you that much more now, and that was just how you came into my life. You were this jerk that bullied me in high school, and then you were this guy I felt sorry for, and then you were quite possibly the best friend I've ever had…and now here I am, hopelessly in love with you. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't perfect. I'm not saying the way it all started was okay. At the time it was terrible, but as a whole? I look back on it and I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't take it back, not a second of it. Because I love you, I trust you, I forgave you a long time ago and maybe it's just my appreciation for the dramatic talking, but if you can love me back I think we'll have the most beautiful love story ever told because it isn't always perfect and shiny and…what would you say? Full of glitter and rainbows?" He chuckled softly against the fabric of David's shirt, and then fell silent. He really hoped Dave would hear him out in the morning, because Kurt knew now that this was all he wanted to say. This was what he wanted to figure out, and he had to know if Dave could return it even knowing that Kurt was never going to forget what had happened between them in high school. Kurt took a shaky breath, and still failed to notice that Dave had gone very, very still in his arms and didn't seem to be breathing at all anymore. Dave was afraid to move a single muscle, afraid to open his eyes, afraid to do anything to shatter the moment he found himself in, because if Kurt really meant all of it...what then? _What does that make us, Kurt?_

"I really hope you can love me back, David," he said softly, voice wavering and tiny in the silence of the room. It was like he was reading Dave's mind. "I really hope you can because I'm not making this up. I don't know what we are but I know what I want us to be. I want you to love me back because I already love you so much and I…I want…I could stay with you forever if you'd have me."

Apparently, there was only so much Dave could pretend to sleep through. Suddenly Kurt was on his back and Dave was kissing him like his life depended on it, kissing him hard and needy and breathless, senseless, mindless. Kurt let out a cry of surprise that was simply swallowed up in the kiss, and then he just closed his eyes and kissed back. Brain falling silent and heart and body taking over, he kissed David so hard it almost hurt, pressed up against him as if it would kill him to leave a single millimeter of space between their bodies, held onto him so tightly that he left little half-moon marks in the skin of Dave's back through his t-shirt.

When lack of oxygen finally forced their lips apart, Dave wasted no time in dropping his head to leave little kisses along Kurt's jaw, down the slope of his neck, and then back up to his chin, his cheeks, his temples, his hair. Kurt clutched at him, head spinning for lack of air and surprise and the lingering effects of too much alcohol—not to mention the way Dave's lips made his stomach quiver and his skin tingle everywhere they touched. It took him a moment to register that Dave was talking to him between kisses.

"Kurt…I love you too. I never would've told you…I didn't think…you could ever feel…that way about me. I still don't know how you can. I was so awful to you. I'm so sorry. I've said it before, I know…but I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'll never hurt you again, as long as I live. I love you. I'll never make you cry…unless it's happy tears, I know how you get when you're happy. I'll make you laugh, even if it's only at how clueless I can be. I'll try to be less clueless. I'll do anything for you. I'll read Vogue if you ask me to. I love you. I love you. I love you."

Kurt was laughing, and he couldn't stop. He pulled Dave's lips to his, trying to stifle the laughter with a kiss, but it didn't help. He laughed into their kisses, and Dave was laughing with him, and then abruptly Dave was growling at him in frustration.

"I'm confessing my love here, Hummel, the least you could do is not laugh at me." That just made Kurt laugh harder. If he'd had his eyes open, he would have seen the glint that Dave got in his eye.

"I see how it is. I'll give you something to laugh about."

Suddenly, Kurt's shirt was un-tucked, and there were warm fingers skittering down his sides, and holy crap nobody had dared be familiar enough with him to tickle him since he was a toddler. He shrieked with laughter, attempting and failing to roll away as Dave pinned him with his knees pressed against Kurt's sides and tickled him with both hands.

"Dave Karofsky…you…obnoxious…horrendous…let me go! How dare you! You're wrinkling….my shirt!" He momentarily lost the powers of speech he was laughing so hard. Dave just grinned wickedly as he fought through the pinwheel of Kurt's arms to keep tickling him, relishing the sight beneath him. Kurt's hair was ruined in the best way possible, his face was turning beet red, and he was laughing so hard he was crying. Dave stopped for a second and leaned in to hear Kurt's breathless pleas for mercy.

"Say uncle," he chuckled lowly. He laughed outright at the swiftness of Kurt's response.

"Uncle! Uncle!" He practically screamed. "Please, I beg you, lemme go! I can't take it, I can't stand being tickled!"

"Looked like you were enjoying yourself to me, Fancy," Dave said indulgently. Kurt shook his head emphatically, taking deep, gasping breaths and clutching Dave's arms for dear life. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and glared at Dave.

"You…you were awake the whole time. I ought to—"

Dave didn't give him a chance to work up to being mad. He leaned down to capture Kurt's lips in another kiss, loving the feeling of Kurt immediately kissing him back, tightening his grip on his arms, leaning reflexively into him with a contended little noise in the back of his throat. This kiss was sweet, short, and when he pulled back from it Dave kept his eyes closed, a soft smile lingering on his face.

Kurt just looked up at him, head cocked to the side and a grin quirking one side of his lips upward as well.

"So…" he said tentatively. "Are you going to let me talk ever again, or are you going to alternate between torturing me and kissing me to keep me quiet?" Dave opened his eyes and smiled down at the disheveled boy beneath him, not even bothering to hide his elation.

"Kurt…you just told me you loved me. You can say anything you want to me for the rest of your life, and as long as you don't take that back I'm fine with it." Kurt's face instantly brightened into a wicked smile.

"So…if I rant about how every other Elphaba is inferior to Idina Menzel, you'll be totally fine with it and listen attentively?" Dave groaned and dropped his head onto Kurt's shoulder.

"I said you could talk, Fancy," he breathed into Kurt's ear. "I didn't say I'd listen." Kurt shivered at the warm breath ghosting over the side of his face, and Dave leaned up to look at him.

"Cold?"

Kurt blushed and shook his head, avoiding Dave's eyes. Dave grinned.

"Oh. Well in that case…"

He leaned back down slowly, blowing softly into Kurt's ear. Kurt tensed, and shivered again. Encouraged, Dave moved in and planted a soft kiss on the sensitive skin behind Kurt's ear. A small, surprised whimper escaped him at the unexpected contact, and Dave grinned against his hair.

"I love your ears," he said softly. "Your ears are adorable." The feeling of Dave's lips moving against that sensitive spot caused Kurt to shudder again and make a noise that was almost embarrassing. His brain, which had only barely started to wake up from the first round of amazing kisses, shut off and he turned his head to capture Dave's lips with his. This time Dave groaned into the kiss. The vibrations against his lips caused something in Kurt to catch fire, and he shoved hard against Dave, managing to roll them over somehow so he was on top and straddling Dave's lap. Their lips never disconnected, and Dave lost himself to the incredible feeling of Kurt on top of him, lips moving his insistently. Pale, delicate-looking, sweet-smiling Kurt Hummel taking control had to be one of the hottest things he'd ever experienced.

And Kurt wasn't finished yet.

Dave felt cool, slender fingers against his skin, slipping beneath the hem of his t-shirt and skimming up his sides, not quite tickling him but close to it, threatening it, and taking his shirt with them until it was up and over his head in one fluid motion. Kurt tossed it aside and detached his mouth from Dave's, only to start pressing quick, open-mouthed kisses down Dave's jaw line, onto his neck, into the hollow of his throat, across his bare shoulder and down his chest, all while Dave's breathing grew faster and his head spun from the sensory overload, only the most scattered of thoughts managing to force their way through his mind.

_When did it get so warm in here? Wasn't I angry a minute ago? Kurt's mouth is on my nipple._

And then his thoughts stuttered and went out entirely because, well…Kurt's mouth was on his nipple. He kissed it sweetly and then grinned wickedly up at Dave's flushed face as he flicked his tongue across it once, twice, three times before sucking gently at the hardened nub and swirling his tongue around it. Dave let out a low groan that sent a thrill through Kurt. He had no idea what he was doing, but watching what it was doing to Dave felt incredible. He felt a heady sense of power that was entirely foreign to him. He felt sexy.

Forcing himself to pull away, he sat up and gazed down at Dave, eyelids heavy and cheeks faintly flushed with desire and embarrassment at his forwardness. Dave whimpered at the loss of contact and then opened his eyes to stare at Kurt hungrily. Kurt swallowed and forced himself to breathe around the tight feeling in his chest, the strange fear-love-lust-power combination that assailed him as he looked down at the man beneath him, the man he knew would do absolutely anything he asked of him tonight.

Suddenly, he only wanted one thing, but knowing what he wanted only increased the fear aspect of his emotional turmoil, because that one thing…it was everything.

Moving carefully, he swung his leg over so he was no longer straddling Dave and laid down beside him instead, turning on his side and gently tugging at Dave's hip so that he rolled to face Kurt with eyes dark with desire and full of questions. Kurt wrapped both arms around Dave's neck and pressed against him, planting a firm kiss on his lips before pulling back to stare seriously into Dave's face.

"David," he said softly. "You love me."

"Yes," Dave said huskily and without even the slightest trace of hesitation. "I've loved you for years. I'm so in love with you it's ridiculous. It ought to be illegal to be this stupidly in love with anybody." Kurt smiled at him, eyes shimmering with happiness.

"And you know I love you." Dave nodded so eagerly that Kurt almost laughed at him, but the nervous knot in his stomach allowed him to keep his center of gravity.

"And we're clear on this: I remember everything that happened between us, but I don't care? I wouldn't change any of it, and it doesn't change the fact that I love you."

Dave nodded again, this time more subdued…but the happiness was still there in his eyes, and the softness in his smile looked liked affection instead of sadness. Kurt exhaled shakily, and pulled himself closer to Dave, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"I'm glad, because…I want you, David. Now. Tonight. I…I want you to be my first."

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><strong>Endnote:<strong> Am I a total asshole for leaving it off there? Probably. I am also just not super comfortable writing smut. Not in a moral sense or a squeamish sense; I read the stuff all the time and _I. love. it._ Just in a...it's not my forte sense. Like Stephen King doesn't write romance novels, and Nicholas Sparks doesn't-to my knowledge-write horror. It's not their forte. Smut is to me as romance is to Stephen King as horror is to Nicholas Sparks.


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